Stupendous!
Where do I even begin?!
They are called family physicians - these general practitioners. They apparently care for the health of the family so you can see them for everything. You in fact, should, see them for everything coz....there's no one else....if they don't refer you to the specialist....where do you find them? It's impossible.
First off, 100% of them are uncomfortable with babies. No, correction, not even. Toddlers. They'll "examine" them (by this they mean, probe them a little with the stethoscope and force a grin to make the kid feel more at ease) but ask for the usual immunisations and you get a blank. No kidding. One lady had to consult her "book" and promptly lugged the volume to the consultation room. She flipped so vehemently I almost peed in my pants. I don't know why I still let her continue after what seemed like an eternity before she exhaled and gushed, "Ok. I think she needs this [pointing at a couple of lines in her book]. I don't usually administer jabs coz I don't want the kids to hate me....but...."
Thankfully, my Belle survived. At the next appointed date, we took her to the same doctor for a follow-up booster jab. She looked puzzled, apologised, then went to consult her book yet again. Anyone who knows me even an insy bit would be able to visualise my face by now.
Now that we've moved, I've done some homework and sourced out (I thought) more competent physicians.
There's just too much to tell. He doesn't do kids either. He doesn't want them to be afraid of him and not allow him to examine them in future. So I've had to call a dozen other numbers and visit a dozen other websites to get her the immunisation she needs at this age. How industrious are mothers in Canada? Do they limit the number of children they have so their appointment books don't look as ridiculous as mine?! In order to shuttle them kids for all the usual screenings and jabs, schedule my husband in for his dental check-up (general, mind you), schedule myself for prenatal check-ups and lab-tests, I've been mind-boggled at how normal women do it? Or do they not bother till everyone falls desperately ill? I can't make sense of it.
Today, my prenatal check-up finally materialised. Last week, they made the mistake of not alloting me enough time for my appointment. No apologies given. I just had to come back a week later - oh and mind you the doctor's fully booked till next week so I really had no choice in the matter.
Today, he spent all of 15 minutes asking about the sky and the moon but not once about how I felt about the pregnancy. How is my health? Do I feel well, happy, good about the pregnancy? None of that. He made me verify the date of my last period 3 times. I'm gonna hazard a guess that he's never had one before. He looked seriously shocked when I shrugged and mumbled, "Thereabouts." What. Has EDD suddenly become rocket science? Has "estimated" become definitive overnight? Oh. Must have missed that one, TOO.
But this tops it all. I'm asked to bend over the examination table. I'm thinking nothing else will surprise me anymore at this stage. Pervert. No, he explains, I need a vaginal swaB. Are you sure you don't have any sexual diseases? For the 3rd time I shook my head. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding this man here. I ate edamame last night - er, so do I have some sexual disease now? Whatever. I feel like an animal. He says to try to relax. He swaBs. Then. He. Gulp. Hands me the swaB and says, "Here you go." For posterity?! I flatly refused. Uh-uh, no need. Thanks. I believe me. No sexual diseases. No need for living proof. No, he smiles condescendingly, send it to the lab.
Now I'm culture courier as well? Can it wait till erm tomorrow? I really don't wanna do it. No, he says firmly, the culture is fresh, send it there now else we gotta do another. Pervert. Fine, I'll do it. Have you ever tucked your own swaB in your handbag and scurried to the labs before? How invigorating to try something so unusual, so exciting....get there too late and (1) the culture's no good, (2) the lab will shut (at 4pm! do people work here?), and (3) I'll have to be reswaBBed. I run like a mad woman for the bus. The cab would cost me $10. Free medical services but run the errands at your own transportation cost.
Now I'm culture courier as well.
I was minded to end here but...have to tell this too:- I spent an hour at the dentist's the other day and got ONE row of teeth cleaned - not by a dentist, he came by to say hi at the end of the session and gave me a free toothbrush. Souvenir, he said. I have to return next week to get my upper row cleaned. I tell them I get everything cleaned in 15 minutes flat in Singapore, by a dentist. They laugh. Typical of dentists, they chuckle. I'm tired.
Then tonight, my mom tells me I've just put in a stupid entry.
Yesterday I bought her salted self-raising flour so all her pineapple tarts taste unusually savoury. I guess she's just getting back tonight.
They are called family physicians - these general practitioners. They apparently care for the health of the family so you can see them for everything. You in fact, should, see them for everything coz....there's no one else....if they don't refer you to the specialist....where do you find them? It's impossible.
First off, 100% of them are uncomfortable with babies. No, correction, not even. Toddlers. They'll "examine" them (by this they mean, probe them a little with the stethoscope and force a grin to make the kid feel more at ease) but ask for the usual immunisations and you get a blank. No kidding. One lady had to consult her "book" and promptly lugged the volume to the consultation room. She flipped so vehemently I almost peed in my pants. I don't know why I still let her continue after what seemed like an eternity before she exhaled and gushed, "Ok. I think she needs this [pointing at a couple of lines in her book]. I don't usually administer jabs coz I don't want the kids to hate me....but...."
Thankfully, my Belle survived. At the next appointed date, we took her to the same doctor for a follow-up booster jab. She looked puzzled, apologised, then went to consult her book yet again. Anyone who knows me even an insy bit would be able to visualise my face by now.
Now that we've moved, I've done some homework and sourced out (I thought) more competent physicians.
There's just too much to tell. He doesn't do kids either. He doesn't want them to be afraid of him and not allow him to examine them in future. So I've had to call a dozen other numbers and visit a dozen other websites to get her the immunisation she needs at this age. How industrious are mothers in Canada? Do they limit the number of children they have so their appointment books don't look as ridiculous as mine?! In order to shuttle them kids for all the usual screenings and jabs, schedule my husband in for his dental check-up (general, mind you), schedule myself for prenatal check-ups and lab-tests, I've been mind-boggled at how normal women do it? Or do they not bother till everyone falls desperately ill? I can't make sense of it.
Today, my prenatal check-up finally materialised. Last week, they made the mistake of not alloting me enough time for my appointment. No apologies given. I just had to come back a week later - oh and mind you the doctor's fully booked till next week so I really had no choice in the matter.
Today, he spent all of 15 minutes asking about the sky and the moon but not once about how I felt about the pregnancy. How is my health? Do I feel well, happy, good about the pregnancy? None of that. He made me verify the date of my last period 3 times. I'm gonna hazard a guess that he's never had one before. He looked seriously shocked when I shrugged and mumbled, "Thereabouts." What. Has EDD suddenly become rocket science? Has "estimated" become definitive overnight? Oh. Must have missed that one, TOO.
But this tops it all. I'm asked to bend over the examination table. I'm thinking nothing else will surprise me anymore at this stage. Pervert. No, he explains, I need a vaginal swaB. Are you sure you don't have any sexual diseases? For the 3rd time I shook my head. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding this man here. I ate edamame last night - er, so do I have some sexual disease now? Whatever. I feel like an animal. He says to try to relax. He swaBs. Then. He. Gulp. Hands me the swaB and says, "Here you go." For posterity?! I flatly refused. Uh-uh, no need. Thanks. I believe me. No sexual diseases. No need for living proof. No, he smiles condescendingly, send it to the lab.
Now I'm culture courier as well? Can it wait till erm tomorrow? I really don't wanna do it. No, he says firmly, the culture is fresh, send it there now else we gotta do another. Pervert. Fine, I'll do it. Have you ever tucked your own swaB in your handbag and scurried to the labs before? How invigorating to try something so unusual, so exciting....get there too late and (1) the culture's no good, (2) the lab will shut (at 4pm! do people work here?), and (3) I'll have to be reswaBBed. I run like a mad woman for the bus. The cab would cost me $10. Free medical services but run the errands at your own transportation cost.
Now I'm culture courier as well.
I was minded to end here but...have to tell this too:- I spent an hour at the dentist's the other day and got ONE row of teeth cleaned - not by a dentist, he came by to say hi at the end of the session and gave me a free toothbrush. Souvenir, he said. I have to return next week to get my upper row cleaned. I tell them I get everything cleaned in 15 minutes flat in Singapore, by a dentist. They laugh. Typical of dentists, they chuckle. I'm tired.
Then tonight, my mom tells me I've just put in a stupid entry.
Yesterday I bought her salted self-raising flour so all her pineapple tarts taste unusually savoury. I guess she's just getting back tonight.
posted by gremlin at 10:09 PM
6 comments
