Why?

is it that two good things must always come at the same time?

So much so that you are compelled to choose? No two ways about. Yet two good things must come at once. Simultaneously. Ok, concurrently, to be accurate. Almost simultaneously. So that it makes you wonder if there is some conspiracy. Up there. A true conspiracy.

I'm already vexed as it is. A perfectionist procrastinates. That's how I assure myself. Har har. Hey but no, I must maintain that stance because that book on how to be a millionaire tells me I must, else I lose my first million already.

Then Heaven opens up and the perfectionist smiles - ok, grins this huge, unnaturally happy grin - that type that makes you who are watching wanna grin too...then Heaven opens up twice over. Now she grins no more. Baffled. Then, pissed. Coz vexed. Again!

I can't have my cake and eat it, she tells herself. Let one go. Choices like these aren't meant to vex you. You're supposed to feel super happy, flattered even. Then you choose and politely, graciously, calmly decline the other.

I pray hard. When I remember. That's bad. But I remember to pray coz I do believe! So that must be redeeming? This can't be a punishment. It's a erm...test? I can't figure it.

All I know is this. Each time it comes to this, it means something good will come to fruition - it's no longer just a bogus lead. The trick though now is to choose the true lead as opposed to the bogus lead. Shite.

I drag myself from my comfort zone each time to discover more challenges. They say you don't get more than you can manage, He doesn't do that. Oh ho ho. Fine. I'm flattered. I'll manage.

If He throws in another baby though, I'll scream. I will. You'll hear me wherever you are.

I will pray somemore right now. I'm open to whatever it ought to be, just don't bogus me. Loud and clear, just tell me.