The life of me
almost got sucked out the other night.
Now I know better than to walk in unannounced. Absolutely not a pretty sight. In fact, it's unequivocally the most horrifying experience. Ever. Second to walking in on - oh never mind. Just ever.
Modus op now is to think twice whether I really need to go that way, then take a deep breath, march LOUDLY towards the area, flick on ALL the light switches, pause 3 seconds (loong seconds), before approaching anywhere within the area. Yeah. Sounds like the only plan.
Critters. Gross tropical critters. To be specific, lizards and roaches. Ugh. Second grossest to none. They fly. I swear. I saw it with my own eyes. Yup, my own.
Flew right across from the sink to the washer. Then flew from the washer to the cabinets across it. Damn scary. Like a horror flick on Friday the 13th. Worse, like Halloween come early.
F'coz I screamed. The husband doesn't believe me. He who's never seen a flying lizard dares berate my fear. They do! They do! PLUS, wait for this. They eat roaches. I swear.
So then the next night I announce my arrival LOUDLY, flick on all switches, clear my throat loudly, before approaching the area. No lizards in sight. So it works, like magic. But the roaches aren't so clever. They stay put in position. Frozen. Like if they dint move, I wouldn't see them. Not so clever.
4 whole seconds of relentless Baygon later, it still pretends to play not there. Then is flutters a lil, scuttles a lil...and falls to the ground. This time, really frozen. Dead. Baygon's the best!
So I leave it there. It ain't gonna run me into a sweat no more. So I leave it there. For 3 days, to be precise.
3 days later, I recount to the husband the horrors of tropical living and gestured pointedly to the offending....GONE! GONE! Like magic. Yeah. Really.
To be clear - NObody in this house cleans this house but me. Nobody lifts a finger. No. Body. Nil. Nana. Noope. Uh-uh. But it's gone!
Lizards eat roaches. They do. I knowed it from deep in my heart. I do. I knowed. What else do they eat? Now am scareder than ever. Horrible quitters. Is what my kids call 'em. Coo-it-ters. Cwock-cwoach. What a mouthful. Yet, lizards eat 'em. I knowed. Help.
Now I know better than to walk in unannounced. Absolutely not a pretty sight. In fact, it's unequivocally the most horrifying experience. Ever. Second to walking in on - oh never mind. Just ever.
Modus op now is to think twice whether I really need to go that way, then take a deep breath, march LOUDLY towards the area, flick on ALL the light switches, pause 3 seconds (loong seconds), before approaching anywhere within the area. Yeah. Sounds like the only plan.
Critters. Gross tropical critters. To be specific, lizards and roaches. Ugh. Second grossest to none. They fly. I swear. I saw it with my own eyes. Yup, my own.
Flew right across from the sink to the washer. Then flew from the washer to the cabinets across it. Damn scary. Like a horror flick on Friday the 13th. Worse, like Halloween come early.
F'coz I screamed. The husband doesn't believe me. He who's never seen a flying lizard dares berate my fear. They do! They do! PLUS, wait for this. They eat roaches. I swear.
So then the next night I announce my arrival LOUDLY, flick on all switches, clear my throat loudly, before approaching the area. No lizards in sight. So it works, like magic. But the roaches aren't so clever. They stay put in position. Frozen. Like if they dint move, I wouldn't see them. Not so clever.
4 whole seconds of relentless Baygon later, it still pretends to play not there. Then is flutters a lil, scuttles a lil...and falls to the ground. This time, really frozen. Dead. Baygon's the best!
So I leave it there. It ain't gonna run me into a sweat no more. So I leave it there. For 3 days, to be precise.
3 days later, I recount to the husband the horrors of tropical living and gestured pointedly to the offending....GONE! GONE! Like magic. Yeah. Really.
To be clear - NObody in this house cleans this house but me. Nobody lifts a finger. No. Body. Nil. Nana. Noope. Uh-uh. But it's gone!
Lizards eat roaches. They do. I knowed it from deep in my heart. I do. I knowed. What else do they eat? Now am scareder than ever. Horrible quitters. Is what my kids call 'em. Coo-it-ters. Cwock-cwoach. What a mouthful. Yet, lizards eat 'em. I knowed. Help.
posted by gremlin at 9:04 AM
2 Comments:
Ha ha ha! Of course they eat them - bugs and mozzies, wasps, bees, grasshoppers (small ones). What else can they eat? That's why we never kill lizards at our house - they're useful! They get rid of creepy crawlies. I used to play with lizards in our house. My old classmate who I've not seen for 30 years just bumped into me at Church and reminded me I had a pet lizard named, what else? Lizzie! Never get scared of lizards - they're your friends. Only time you don't need them is when you're eating dinner and there's one on the ceiling on top of you - then you clap your hands loudly to move it - don't want their poo dropping into your food do we?
The other thing is cats - very useful for getting rid of rats, big creepies (praying mantis, grasshoppers, big beetles, cockroaches) etc, always useful to have around the house.
btw, I think you might be getting strange wildlife because of the construction work nearby - deforestation just denudes the habitat of these creatures and they are forced to move out into areas where humans live.
at least someone believes me. now am wondering how I can hone their skills to benefit moi. maybe they'd clean out my dishes for me if I leave them in the sink long enuff hm. there's a thought...can't beat them, join 'em!
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