Laughter's therapy
for the constipated stay-at-home mom. The one's who's been deprived of normal, adult conversation the entire day, most days, seems like forever...
The one who has forgotten to care for herself the way she used to care for herself so the opposite sex would possibly look twice in admiration. The one who can now type with one hand as efficiently as with two, reply to emails in a jiffy albeit all in small letters, pick up the phone to give instructions to some lame (read "mentally challenged") banker and breast-feed infant simultaneously, message a dozen girlfriends whilst fixing a healthy, vegetable-full meal for the munsters, etc.
The one who has forgotten to use the bathroom when nature calls just coz there are so many other more important things to do like fixing a puzzle with the toddler or discussing the temperament of some prehistoric creature with the preschooler or just gurgling with the bouncey bouncer (aka aarongator). Yikes. I am off point again.
It's true (Smoot), you do become like her eventually. No matter how you mask it. You are HER, in the end. Just look at what I've just done. Gone on. Not on point whatsoever, whatsoever. So way off even. (repetition in just so many words is the other crime!)
So, we get some couple time tonight for a steak meal out (woo hoo!) and I immediately sight a Phuket holiday contest for the entire family just coz you eat there and have a receipt number. So we zoom in. What right do we have not to try for the free trip, right? The children will never forgive. We eat out without them, and to add injury to insult, we don't eat at the right place to join the right contests. So, we decided we'd better do it right. See. I have gone on yet again. Relentless. Bah!
It was downhill from there. Everything and nothing was funny from there. Who is having the minx gree? The garrik stick? (mixed grill and garlic steak) Can you please open (using 2 fingers to gesture the opening motion) the potato so I can put the sour crim? Very naughty.
Oh man. I was tempted to ask - Oly one sie?
And the husband found guts tonight. He ordered a refill. God help him. Think he's stuck in the toilet right as I type.
The one who has forgotten to care for herself the way she used to care for herself so the opposite sex would possibly look twice in admiration. The one who can now type with one hand as efficiently as with two, reply to emails in a jiffy albeit all in small letters, pick up the phone to give instructions to some lame (read "mentally challenged") banker and breast-feed infant simultaneously, message a dozen girlfriends whilst fixing a healthy, vegetable-full meal for the munsters, etc.
The one who has forgotten to use the bathroom when nature calls just coz there are so many other more important things to do like fixing a puzzle with the toddler or discussing the temperament of some prehistoric creature with the preschooler or just gurgling with the bouncey bouncer (aka aarongator). Yikes. I am off point again.
It's true (Smoot), you do become like her eventually. No matter how you mask it. You are HER, in the end. Just look at what I've just done. Gone on. Not on point whatsoever, whatsoever. So way off even. (repetition in just so many words is the other crime!)
So, we get some couple time tonight for a steak meal out (woo hoo!) and I immediately sight a Phuket holiday contest for the entire family just coz you eat there and have a receipt number. So we zoom in. What right do we have not to try for the free trip, right? The children will never forgive. We eat out without them, and to add injury to insult, we don't eat at the right place to join the right contests. So, we decided we'd better do it right. See. I have gone on yet again. Relentless. Bah!
I'll get to it right here - the waiter came with a tray of drinks and said,
"Who is having the cock?"
There. I did it! I can do it. I am ON point.
It was downhill from there. Everything and nothing was funny from there. Who is having the minx gree? The garrik stick? (mixed grill and garlic steak) Can you please open (using 2 fingers to gesture the opening motion) the potato so I can put the sour crim? Very naughty.
Oh man. I was tempted to ask - Oly one sie?
And the husband found guts tonight. He ordered a refill. God help him. Think he's stuck in the toilet right as I type.
posted by gremlin at 9:53 AM
4 Comments:
I can't believe you went and bullied more wait staff on your only night out.
Lemme guess. You went to town with your favourite phrases:
1. Can I have some cock prease
2. (points to half of 1 french fry) can pliss doggy bag for me
3. Your orleng joo is freshly squee or not
no, no, my favourite phrase now is :-
Peeperr say drink cock not goo for you so beller loo drink orleng joo, fresh squee ty. My mudder say ribena actually got no vymin C one.
eh! the ocbc bankers talk like that! not hearsay, firsthand.
hahaha...dunno to laugh or to sigh
couldn't figure out what "minx gree" is, though?...I fail my singlish.
I totally get what you mean about forgetting to care for yourself etc etc.
Any stay home mom with 3 young children should be given an award or something.
the mama - mixed grill. yeah, lost my appetite too.
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